Book stores

Recently I was in a book store shopping for a Christmas Present for a roommate. I ended up spending a long time there. I realized that I am usually only in bookstores when I am staying with my grandparents. As such I have related book stores with puppies, embroidery, bead stores, hot cocoa, cousins and other things that are essentially comforting and only available when I escape life for a bit and go to Colorado.
But then I realized it was more than that. The more I read the summaries on the jackets or the more I just looked at titles I realized that books are just so great. Ironically that is why I became English major, but somehow I forgot that along the way. I do believe it is because certain things like plot and characters take back seat to getting a proper “analysis” of a work. But I can’t blame my professors for this (at least not completely) . It’s just what happened to me over the last few years.
But as I pulled book after book off the shelf they all said wonderfully different things. One would say: “You’re job is full of useless stress, want to solve a murder? At least that is a worthwhile kind of stress.” Another would say “Romance isn’t always bad. Sure it can be a little distracting when going undercover in occupied Paris. But what kind of woman can’t seduce a Nazi and lose her mind to a British spy at the same time?” Another would say “Remember me? You read me last summer, you said you loved me, but now I doubt you could even name all of my characters off the top of your head.”
Finally I realized that book stores are wonderful firstly because they remind me of my grandparents. But secondly because they are full of books. Books can teach you so many beautiful things. But that day they all reminded me that where I was—in a useless job and still stuck in school and broke—wasn’t the end. Thos books reminded me that in life no matter what is currently going on the future possibilities are endless.

Thanksgiving

I am not generally a fan of Thanksgiving. I already eat more than I should. Thanksgiving occurs when I realize it is too late to change my semester plans and I am stuck doing whatever it is I am currently doing until January. It also means Black Friday. I have had to work Black Fridays for the better part of a decade now and I have a hard time celebrating a holiday that has become a prelude to the American tradition of consumerism.

I get the "Be Thankful" thing. But what annoys me is if you don't say specific things it looks like you aren't grateful for those things. I am very grateful for my religion, knowing God loves me, my ability to get an education, my family, my friends and my job. I am so grateful for these things. But let's go further. If we are going to celebrate gratitude than let's at least be creative. So here are some obscure things to be grateful for.

1. The color green. Seriously, can you imagine not having that color?

2. Agatha Christie. Because.

3. Over-the-counter pain killers.

4. Carpet cleaners.

5. Quirky album covers

6. Alarm clocks

7. Brownies-- the mythical beings and the tasty dessert.

8. Ambition

9. SHOES

10. Trash-liners

11. Jane and Cassandra Austen

12. Peter Pan

13. Pillows.

Let's end at thirteen because we can.

Married, Single, Other

I must confess I have been vaguely aware of the existence of the show “Married, Single, Other” for quite some time. I never really had any interest in seeing it as the title seemed to reflect that it would be a show whose primary purpose would be a loosely stringed plot that always involved naked young women. However this week I decided to give it a shot. I have not been so pleasantly disappointed in a long time.
The story focuses on three main couples; two have children and have been together forever. The final is just starting out.
One of the forever couples—Lillie and Eddie— have never married, they have two children and are quiet happy. At least Lillie is. Eddie and one of their sons, Joe, wish they were an official family. Lillie comes to realize that if marriage is so important to those she loves than maybe it is more important than her feminist stance. Regardless of my personal feelings on marriage (it’s a good thing) I was so glad the writers chose this route for their characters. I don’t mind other views than mine… but when every single TV couple decides it would be purer not to marry it stops being thought provoking and starts being predicable. I loved this couple. They loved each other and loved their kids.
The other forever couple – Babs and Dickie—are facing the end of their relationship. Or at least their marriage. Babs is at the end of her rope; she says herself: “I love him. I love him more than anything… but he… Oh Lillie, is it wrong to dump someone because they are a bit immature and a little bad with money?” To which her old friend says “Maybe. But it’s probably not so bad to end a marriage with someone who is very difficult and complete crap with money.” Not an exact quote but generally. This couple addresses the pain of love. Babs always loves her husband. But his addiction to gambling and his lack of ambition has ruined her. So this story begs the question, when do you forgive those you love for their weaknesses? When are they taking advantage of you? How far does the vow for better or for worse go?
The final couple—Abbey and Clint—are just starting out. Clint is, as his sister in-law, Babs, refers to him, “The King of Sleaze.” He meets Abbey, who is drop dead attractive and funny and all around the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, she finds him to be a bit of joke. But they decide to give one another a shot.
Though this series began as trying to define a couple what it ended was defining the family. The brave part of this piece was—not to give away the ending—but pretty much everyone ended up somewhere between “Other” and “Single”. Despite their individual relationships going to pot they all stay close Eddie, Lillie, and the boys. They are form a family like relationship with this family. The theme of the work was “Couples more often than not, break up. Something horrible and unpredictable happens, someone cheats, some lies, someone has unfair expectations. However, families; on the other hand, last forever.”

Spooks

I am attempting to write this blog as a review for the British television series Spooks. I have spent way more hours than I wish to contemplate writing essays and analysis’s where I take my personal feelings about something out. So I am going to make this review personal.

I love the television series Spooks.

The English/Art geek in me feels the need to point out that any pop show in which the artists involved quote Shakespeare, create allusions to fairy-tales and allusions to King Arthur mixed into a modern spy show. I am so on board.

Tonight I will watch the final episode. I must admit I am very saddened by this idea. I will literally miss this show. I remember my dad once shared a quote that said “Happiness is discovering P.G. Woodhouse for the first time.” (I am sorry that I do not know who first made this statement to give them proper credit.) To me the same is true with Spooks. Yes I can and will re-watch them and enjoy them for years and years. However nothing matches the thrill of watching an episode of Spooks wondering how on earth it will possibly end without world disaster—or without a main character dead or miserable in painful, emotionally wrenching and probably humiliating manner.

That last paragraph makes me feel like anyone reading it will assume I have completely sick tastes. This is true to an extent. But while I love the extreme situations that Spooks pulls. But I love the extreme emotions that come in hand with the extreme situations. What is it they say in The Princess Bride? “Sword fights, revenge, true love, miracles!” Spooks is bombs, poison, bullets, murder, commitment issues, black mail, sacrifice, betrayal, torture, kidnapping, rescues, judgment calls, extremists, true love. As the character Danny says “Great acts of hatred also create great acts of love.” This show has some of the best emotional scenes. I am so going to miss the emotional roller coaster of Spooks.

So while I am so proud of the production team that has decided to end this show while it is ahead I am partly with the character Ruth when she tearfully begs: “Oh no, please, please don’t let this be the end.”

Wish list

My mother claims that I'm impossible to buy gifts for. Given that my birthday is coming up I figured I'd do a blog on what I want this birthday. Oh, for the record they are in no particular order.

-- Toothless the Dragon. Seriously. I want Toothless as a pet. Isn't he cool? He flies. And he has a cute attitude. As long as he doesn't make me take a bite of raw fish we're perfect for each other.

--Flat in England, I miss it every day. I just want to go back... forever.

-- Hot British Boyfriend. Need I say more? I think not.

--Ability to walk in high-heels without being an insurance hazard to myself and others.

-- A Timeturner. With one of these I could sleep and get my homework done.

-- My sisters' shopping skills. Both always look so put together.

-- I. Want. To. Go. To. NARNIA. But I don't think my mom will get me this because A. I am well aware it is fictional. B. I would never come back.

Being Human the BBC version provided a great deal of entertainment these last two semesters. True there is now an American version of the same show. I have never seen it. I am sure it is good—but I’m just saying when I have a choice and one actor playing the lead has an Irish accent I tend to choose that option.
The premise is simple—four undead friends try to live as humanly as possible. They try to keep their conditions under control and in the process their stories beg the questions “what is it to be human?” After all Mitchell is a vampire, his best friend George is a werewolf, and Annie is a ghost. This show forces its audience to consider that perhaps humanity isn’t limited to species; but, is instead based on character. However this theme is woven in artfully, it supports the story, but does not indulge in preaching.

Mitchell is a vampire who with a shady—no horrific—history. But he is not off blood and trying to get his friends to follow suit. He is constantly at odds because he wants to remain in touch with the vampire community. These people are his friends and the only ones who truly understand his condition. They are not bad people. But they are killers. Just like he was, and occasionally still is. Despite all his faults he has to believe that he has the ability to overcome his hunger. He wants to be defined by who he is and not his impulses.

George is a werewolf, a nerd, religious, a good cook and incredibly socially awkward. However he is the most supportive member of the cast. His principles are solid and his beliefs have not altered because of his condition. When Mitchell does not trust the world George does not trust himself. He is the backbone of the crew. His kind nature means that he is often taken advantage of by both his friends and his enemies.

Annie is ghost who has been all alone until she meets up with Mitchell and George. She is kind and fun. But unlike the other characters she is too trusting and too forgiving. Because of these traits she is dead. Her character develops from self conscious and desperate to please to ambitious and uncompromising.

Nina may just be my personal favorite. She has been the victim of a series of painful relationships. She was abused by her parents and at least one previous partner. She is angry and unforgiving. But then she meets George who is kind, funny and would do anything for her. She finds life is better with him. But then he is a werewolf. Everything she believed before is true; someone like him was too good to be true. So, does she risk everything again and go for the man she loves or protect herself. (She doesn't have quite as big a part so she doesn't get a cool promo pic.)

This story is more effective given the demographic of the characters. They are all in their early twenties. Or at least were in their early twenties before they became ageless and technically life-less. But the similarities between the average undead and the average young adult are quiet striking.
1. The struggle to find a significant other who understands you.
2. Parents—getting them let go
3. Ex- partners
4. Old friends with bad habits—it’s a tough lesson but you’re not saving them. They’re damning you.
The list could go on.
The writing is good—as with any TV script there are the occasional holes, but not enough to distract from the strengths of the story. The acting is excellent. The characters who are supposed to be in love have great chemistry and the ones at conflict with one another have enough emotion to back up their motives that nothing feels forced.
My last two points are personal. Firstly the language and the life styles of this series are for mature audiences only. Secondly we have been seeing the family picked apart a great deal in so much of our entertainment choices. I was so grateful to see that in this series the desire to have children and to be a parent was strong motivation to these characters. Some people might say that because the couple expecting child were not married is proof that this series is just as bad as any other. But I didn’t see that. I don’t feel the need for every character to uphold my exact moral views before I see the truth in what they are doing. I like that in this story a romance was a beginning that is led to something bigger instead of insinuating that parenthood is a boring and a waste of ambition.
I liked the show. Undead characters, British humor, complicated love/hate triangles and moral ambiguity.

The thrill and the horror

I wanted to do a quick piece on auditioning. It’s a complicated experience for an actor. On the one hand it is a chance to prove yourself—it’s basically a chance for you to perform. But it’s also very nerve wrecking. You have essentially under a minute to prove to these people that you are the actor they are after. You have to give it your all—knowing that there is at least a 95% chance that you won’t get it.
This week my school held auditions for Oedipus. The director is a man I have worked with before. The play is amazing. I wanted a part.
So I found a heart wrenching classic Greek monologue and prepared it.
Despite my best efforts to slow time down the night of the auditions finally arrived. My roommates very patiently dealt with my roller-coaster emotions. “I don’t even want a part. I don’t have time for this. I’m taking eighteen credits. I shouldn’t even audition.” “If I don’t audition I will just feel like a wimp. There is no way I’m getting in, but I guess I’ll still try out.” “Who am I kidding I haven’t acted in over a year!” “Which color scarf should I wear?” “Which shoes should I wear?”
One roommate was even supportive enough to put the dinner she was making—gourmet Mac and cheese-- on hold and do my make up for me. It was amazing and really helped me feel relaxed because 1. I felt pretty. 2. I didn’t feel like me. The way she did my makeup was a way I have never done before and it was easier to look at myself in the mirror and see not Madison but Ismene.
After my outfit was picked… my hair and make-up was done I went to my room and turned up Enya really loud. I choose Enya because I figured she wouldn’t annoy my roommates. Then with the music blaring I practiced my mono. I pushed myself. I screamed. I yelled. Now you see why I used the music… I didn’t want to subject my roommates to that.
But I needn’t have worried; when I went to leave they had already left to rent a movie. (I found out later that they picked enough—you the one where Jennifer Lopez is beaten up by her husband until she has “enough” and kills him. Just so you know. Yes we are sick.)
So… I made my lonely way to the theatre building. I had planned to be there about twenty minutes early so I could be one of the first to audition. That didn’t happen. I got there and had to watch a bunch of fabulously talented other actors go first.
Then I heard the director say my name. I made my long walk up to the stage and delivered my mono. I felt good about it. I projected. I didn’t hold back. I followed impulses.
When I finished my friends told me I did a good job. But seriously—your friends always say you did a good job. Maybe I need new friends… ones who will tell me when I’m crap.
So my friend and I walked home, wondering if God rolls his eyes at prayers for actors. He probably thinks “You think your audition is hard? I have thousands of children in Africa and other countries suffering genocide and starvation.”
The callbacks weren’t posted until 2pm the next day.
Can you appreciate how long a wait that is!!!!!! My day begins at three thirty in the morning. I was up for almost 12 hours before even knowing how my precious Friday night would be spent.
So I sat in class convincing myself I didn’t care. I was too busy for a part. But I did a good job. I hate call backs. Well they are usually pretty fun. But I’m tired… I don’t want to go back tonight. AAHHH!!!
My last class ended and I bolted across campus to the snow building—where the theatre and music departments are housed. All the way there I was thinking about what a cruel system auditioning is. First you go spill your heart in front of a bunch of other actors who are more talented and have more experience than you do. If that wasn’t enough then you had to go read a list to see if your name was on it. Also reading this list will be all those more-talented/more-experienced people. You will have to elbow your way through these brilliant people to even see the list and when your name isn’t there they will just look at your pityingly like they really thought you had a chance and they can’t believe the mean director didn’t cast you. While in reality they are thinking “sweet-heart find a new hobby.”
I finally got to the building and approached the double glass doors. Before entering I checked to make sure there were none of the said more-talented/more-experienced people around. Then I realized two things. One there weren’t any m.-t./m.-e. In my direct vision but I couldn’t see very much into the lobby. Two however what I could see in my limited view included the bulletin board. On which as posted a call-back list on which… was my name.
I threw open the doors and read the list again and again. It was my name. I’d made call backs.
I was grinning like an idiot when I started to choke up. What was I thinking!!!! I didn’t have time to do this!!!! This would mean possibly dropping my screen writing class—possibly one of the only things I’m actually good at!!!
I went the callbacks and saw several friends/ acquaintances. The thing about the theatre is that it makes friends or at least allies for you. I am either close to a lot of these people because we have done previous shows together. Even those of us who did not know each other were joking, picking each other up, dancing and chatting.
All this ended abruptly when the director* walked in. All at once the room went silent. This man walks in and an entire room of theatre geeks stops talking and sits down and folds their arms like they are in church. That is a superpower.
He realized we were all mutely watching him. “Keep talking, I’m listening to the gossip.” He instructed. All of a sudden I found I had nothing to say. This rarely happens to me. Usually if I’m not speaking it’s because I don’t want to. Not because I don’t have a clue what to say.
A few moments later I still hadn’t found anything to say, and The Director called the meeting to order: “As many of you can see there are many people you auditioned with last night are not here. I am glad that you are here. You are here because I saw something I could use in our production of Oedipus. That being said, I was very disappointed in what I saw last night. I know that all of you can and have done better than what you gave me last night. What I saw last night made me want to retire. I thought, ‘Ah it’s happened. No one listens to the old man anymore.’ So please, please to better tonight.”
So basically we only made callbacks because we were slightly less-crappy than the other kids? Great. Besides, he says he has seen us all do better? Well, I killed myself in that mono… if that wasn’t enough maybe I should just leave now…
The first assignment he gave us was a series of movement exercises. Walking across the stage in a slight dance routine. Fun, except I haven’t danced in forever. FOREVER. Then he has this little drum that he uses to keep tempo. It is actually pretty stressful do a dance while he pounds on his drum. Then when we finished he would say “Again, FASTER.” And hit the drum faster.
Then he assigned the girls on monologue and the boys another. We each had a few minutes to read the lines of the Messenger—if a girl—or the Priest of Zeus if a boy.
One of my friends got herself so into it that her hands sized up. It was creepy. But she used it and her mono. was wicked good.
I was pretty pleased with my mono. I used the stage, I screamed, acted hysterical, pulled all the stops just like the particular director that I don’t want to name is always telling me to do.
Then we had all done a reading and said director explained “The cast list will be up at about ten thirty. Have a good evening.”
My friend who had had her hands seize up on her… well I wasn’t going to let her walk home alone, and she does live in my complex. On the way home though we and another friend from my Tech. theatre class decided we couldn’t very well wait home and then go to the cast list. We wanted to be around people who understood. So we went to a local “Mexican”—in the loosest sense of the word—restaurant and hung out until the cast list was up.
We arrived at the cast list—most our cast-mates he beaten us there— and were all thrilled to see our names. I was a suppliant and an attendant to the queen. There were hugs, congratulations, and “I’m so excited to work with you”’s all around. I called my mom even though it was midnight where she was and told her the good news. She said congrats. and that she knew I’d get it.
Then we all realized that we were expected to be at rehearsal tomorrow and we all said “see you tomorrow!!!!!” excitedly and hurried home for a few hours of homework and sleep.